Brok Records: We’re not just a movement, we…really need the money!
Plot: there are mother fuckin’ snakes on this mother fuckin’ plane, trying to kill a mother fuckin’ witness, which in turns proves Samuel L Jackson is the mother fuckin’ man.
Synopsis: Mr Jackson we here at Brok records apologize for all the jokes we made about when we first heard about this movie:
“Dude’s Career is beyond over!” ~ Struggle
“llllllllooooooollllllllllllllll thats worst then getting eatin by a shark lol” ~ Garbage
If only we saw your vision. Clearly you knew something we didn’t and that’s how to make a summer movie.
Now that all that ass kissing is over, SOAP [thats what the cool kids call it] is THE movie of the summer. Superman showing his pimp game, chicks dying in a cave, scurvvy pirates selling there souls to the lil’ mermaids father, burn’em all. Soap trumps them all.
As the movie opens I’m laughing already, there’s a motorX sequence where this guy is doing xgames 180’s and kick flips on a dirt bike. I’m laughing hysterically because I just KNOW this is sam jack and I’m willing to bet on it. there’s even a slow mo shot. Sadly I lost 5 bucks (corrupt I got you.)
But this sequence is the set up of what we can expect from next summers crop of block busters, the thinnest plot possible to do the most outrageous shit. Quientin tarrintino is already working a movie called “Death race” in which, I guess…you race death. So expect to all type of outlandish shit next year like, “Man Fires Gun” or “Train Headed for a Cliff.” But this isn’t a bad thing.
As a man who LOVES bad movies this is like discovering mutant power or stumbling onto one eyed willie’s treasure, I’m a lot better because of it. And being a bad movie is where SOAP excels at. Simply by being called Snakes on a Plane, you know upfront what you in for. Not like X3, the last stand my ass.
Final analysis: you clearly can’t review a movie like soap because something like this isn’t watched its experienced. The plot is thinner than $1 wife beaters, characters are cartoons and the CG looks like a Sci-Fi original picture. But watching this with a group of like minded fools, elevates this B movie to cult status. The Brok Records family gathered for this movie and its what clearly made the movie. So if you decide to go see this movie, & you should, get your friends, drink a few beers and remember this shit is dumb, but its fun the whole way through because “There are mother fuckin’ snakes! On this Mother fuckin’ Plane!”
10 out 10 snakes biting parts of the body that should be used for fun.
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Brok Records is combined creative might of the most prolific rapper ever, guttaMAN and the magnificient vocal stylings of Struggle. Together they have transcended Rap and now spend their time Playing games, chasing girls and talking shit about music and movies.
If you got something to say about Brok Records post it up, 100!
The Maid
August 21st, 2006 at 4:10 pm
LMAO…’man fires gun’ huh? Hilarious. I definitely agree - this was the movie of the summer! Good review
Struggle
August 22nd, 2006 at 9:04 am
“im going to see this on the first day. This is my new sh*t! Seeing bootleg movies! ”
I like how you left out one of my other quotes. God damn press always taking the quotes they want. Great movie, however I don’t recommend you see it by yourself. You need to be with a crowd of people that are ready to have fun.
One more thing…..A big Fuck you to all the people who were hyping this movie up. How can a movie so hyped and well received by the public, only make $15 million. IF you guys were true Fanboys, then you would have shelled out 10 bucks to enjoy one of the best experiences you will ever have at the cinema. A la, Rocky Horror Picture show.